A Change of Plans

Dear brand new mama,

It's me. 

The one who was barely able to keep my secret contained. The one who shopped for all those sweet little clothes, I know you did too. The one who poured over pinterest for nursery ideas. The one who hoped my baby would have lots of friends.

Brand new mama, 

It's me.

The one who labored and the one who delivered a beautiful baby. -We fought the same fight you and I- The one who dressed her baby in that tiny newborn outfit that was tucked away just for this occasion, like you did. The one who kissed the softest face in the world. You know that feeling, don't you?

Dear new mama,

It's me.

The one who loved that tiny bit of life from the moment I knew she was there. The one who dreamed all the dreams of a world with a brand new baby. Mama, you know those dreams. We're the ones who willingly endured those uncomfortable nights, because this tiny life, she is so worth it. 

Mama,

It's me.

The one who wonders what normal is anymore. The one who fights emotions and hormones more than ever before, I'm sure you know the struggle! The one who finds my body healing in the midst of all the new. The one who is awake at odd hours of the night. The one who wonders what it means to be a "good" mom.

To you: brand new mama,

From: me.

We are one and the same.

*Here I am again, processing. My hope is not to bring out the sad differences between me and other brand new mamas, but rather to affirm that I am a mama too. I need to be reminded of that fact. 

This is for all of you mamas, those with babies here, and those who had to say goodbye too soon. You are mamas, and you do matter.