Two the Moon!

Two seems like a pretty special age to be, especially for identical twins! I wracked my brain trying to figure out what to do for their birthday. What kind of cake do they want? Who should I invite? Could I pull off a tea party maybe? Deanne offed some sane advice. Why not a moon cake? The girls are infatuated with the moon. In fact, when N needs the most comfort, the moon is her number one solice. Moon cake it is then. Allen also had sane advice: "Let's not invite very many people. We are getting over colds, and have had a busy week already."

Saturday, the day before their birthday, I set out to bake their cake. Allen and Jasper were working on a project and Gracia was napping, so I tried to get my two tired girlies excited about baking. First, we needed to wash hands. A was having a lot of fun with the sink in the bathroom so N and I washed our hands in the kitchen. As much as I tried to convince N to wear the cute little Ikea apron, she wasn't having it. Oh well. I put the mixer on the floor. N was thrilled to start helping measure the dry ingredients. 

When I heard a great deal of splashing coming from the bathroom, I ran to investigate and there was my little housekeeper using her snack cup to deposit hot water from the sink to the bathroom floor. Why not a lesson in home economics? I got three rags and showed the girls how to mop the floor nice and clean. After the floor was thoroughly and happily scrubbed, I desperately tried to switch their attention to baking. My attempts ended in two little girls crying in a heap on the floor. Playing with the bathroom sink seemed far more fun than following mama to the kitchen. 

This was starkly different from what I imagined Pearl's second birthday might have been. My mind wandered down memory lane, while I again tried to persuade my little people to get off the floor and to calm down. On Pearl's second birthday, our three littles were all babies. A church friend had kindly babysat for me while I baked a raspberry cake and imagined a little two year old girl with brown pigtails watching with baited breath and her little hands flying to help with stirring and dumping. This experience felt very different from what I had imagined. Maybe cake baking with two year old twin girls was not a great idea...

At this point, Deanne peeked in the door and wondered if she could help. She got out a towel for the still wet bathroom floor. A joined me in the kitchen and being the girly girl she is even let me put on the apron. She watched in awe at the the seven eggs getting cracked, then divided into two bowls. Needing to wash the egg off my hands I turned for a few seconds. Meanwhile, Deanne had helped N back into the kitchen. N spotted the bowl of runny egg whites and proceeded to pour them over the floor. "Dump!" She said as she watched the gooey mess slide out of the bowl. I cought the bowl mid dump and was able to save two egg whites from their otherwise dismal end.

Deanne decided to usher the little girls into the living room for a change of scenery. I finished the cake baking in a quiet kitchen and reflected on the experience. Obviously I had my hopes a little high. Thinking we could all bake their birthday cake with no upsets was not realistic. But what was also not realistic was assuming that they really like helping me bake. Maybe what I think should be special for them isn't as special as I had hoped. I also realized that I should not have set out to create a moment that I really wish I could have had with Pearl. Instead I should look around and love them for exactly who they are.

The next day, their birthday, I got the girls dressed in their special birthday dresses. I peeked into the closet at my dresses and tried to decide what to wear.  My lavender dress that I made in memory of Pearl caught my attention. No, I told myself, this is the twins' day, I should be celebrating them, not focusing on the baby I am missing. 

A begged for her favorite glittery shoes. N's shoulder strap kept on falling off one side as she hopped around the house. I watched them and thought about their mama who would love to be seeing them on their second birthday. She would love to give them the moon cake with the two candles for them to blow out. What a privilege for me to celebrate this day with them. I walked out of my bedroom wearing lavender. Not only in memory of my dear Pearl India, but also in honor of the mama who couldn't be here to celebrate her daughters' second birthdays.